March 8th, 2009

dying open

Watchmen: The IMAX Experience.

15.00 Movie Ticket.
12.00 Popcorn and Coke.

Sitting through what may be the most awkwardly cut, awkwardly shot and poorly edited movie I've seen in the last five years (in the post Bush economy)?



I hated the movie. It had it's moments, but they were under emphasized and far between.

The action sequences seemed very awkward and poorly shot. The CG was what I would call corny.

Although not nearly as long as some of the greatest movies I've ever seen, it was assembled in such a way that made it feel like it would never end.

The movie's plot was a simple one, and poorly executed. The movie itself seemed to be confused about what it was trying to achieve; as though in the editing room they decided to 'open it up' as much as possible. The movie wasn't confusing, just jumbled.

Then you have the bad acting.

IMAX is a movie format where everything is bigger, louder, stronger and more in your face. If this movie had a chance anywhere, it would be on the IMAX screen. It failed in this format. I think it would fail in any format, but I think that it failed at IMAX is telling.

This, incidentally, is the first time I've ever been let down by a film in an IMAX theater.

Most reviews have been bad. 65% Over-All on Rotten Tomatoes is, well, rough. Select Top-Critics, and you get 43%. Ouch.

A lot of people say that you must read the graphic novel before seeing the film. That's bullshit fed to people buy marketing guys, passed down to trolls who then tell everyone they know like it's the gospel. I was told that the dialog wouldn't make sense if I hadn't read the graphic novel, that the story wouldn't make sense if I hadn't read it, etc. It's all a load of shit, the story/movie does stand on it's own without reading it. I think through merchandise deals they emphasized how much deeper the story would become if you'd read the graphic novel to sell more of the book, and thus make more money on the franchise. It couldn't be farther from the truth. Also, the movie would probably be equally as horrible if you'd read the book or not.

Lots of geeks and potheads will go to this movie in droves, I'm sure. I'm sure that although the vast majority of the people that see this movie will hate it, many won't cop to hating it in front of people. It's cool to like this kind of film. It's themes and ideas are utterly commonplace these days, but many people still want to seem cool by clinging to art films that deal with these things, even if the film is awful. Be cool. I don't care. The movie was awful.

When I wrote what I thought of Batman: The Dark Knight, I talked about the standing ovation it got when the credits rolled:

At the end of Watchmen, you could have heard a cricket have a heart attack...